so what im trying to do is not really working how i want it to but hey its fine thats fine whatever i want to have little boxes like this trailing down the page in the center but i cant remeber for the life of me how to center it without messing with the pixels and every time i try to look it up its not clicking to me so yeah i guess its just not going to be centered for now whatever. it seems to look fine if i just say a lot of things but what if i just want to say one thing who knows..
also i'll probably post my goals for the year here and stuff like that later

i still havent sorted out my goals for 2026 let alone january.. but i did decide to lock in on my digital art skills so im just going crazy on clip studio right now. ive decided i'll buy the perma access cuz im really enjoying it i have a cool brush i like to use and i feel like its making me feel a lot more comfortable as opposed to ibis paint. i was planning to buy procreate but aparently i cant do that on laptop. i thought i could but its whatever im happy with clip studio. really happy.
this year i said id write in my diary every night but i really cant be bothered im too lazy.. but it must be done. so much happens in my life and then i just forget it i think i have just really bad brain fog otherwise its dementia and its whatever because i'll forget i have my problem and then it will solve itself. who needs memories anyways it just means that one day i can watch kuroshitsuji again with a fresh mind.. please remind me to do that.
also i was going to cosplay tonight (last night?) but then i played roblox instead. i still have drafts anyways but thats another thing im not doing that i said i would...
i keep thinking im done then i just have more to say oh my goodness this is annoying i should just get my diary but who cares its basically the same thing, right? my family's work requires a lot of travel and the business in general is very family orientated and my family is friends with other families for generations back that kind of thing. thats just background. my childhood friend from this situation who i stopped talking to as much (shes the only person i really still talk to here) came to my caravan (i live in a caravan when i travel and a house when i dont) and i think the guy was her boyfriend? hard to say. i dont care its irrelevant the point is there was her and a guy and we had a good talk all of us but my caravan is disgusting right now. im a slob thats the truth. it was a bit embarrassing and i kept stumbling over what i was saying and then after they left it kind of felt like they were talking to me for the sake of getting me outside which a lot of people here do and it gets me really annoyed and has the opposite effect. i dont wanna go out with anyone but i feel rude sometimes which makes me more annoyed somehow..

vivi needs to open the damn diary omg

existing is so expensive